Born without parents, I was a feral child. I lived off of wild berries and the occasional bush pig, and I slept on the ground in the hull of a fallen tree. At the age of three, I had a vision of Vamana, the twelfth deity of the Adityas, he told me I was too naive for foresight, and that I would live as a lesser form of myself. Years later when I was 12 I began working in a brewery as an ale tunner filling casks, bringing home just enough to live off of. I met this young woman while out at the market for some cabbage, and she told me about my future. She said the internet would take over the world and in the spiraling chaos I would create a blog so powerful that it would cast away the internet’s bleak and uncompromising embrace of humanity. She promised me that we would live happily after that. I declined, I couldn’t handle the responsibility.
